Why it's so damn hard...

I've been thinking a lot, why the hell my life in KL is so goddamn hard? I don't get it, my intuition is only to pursue my degree and yet lots of shitty things happen to me. Why?

Yesterday was by far the worst. When I heard that PTPTN loan contract finally out I feel like a huge burden was lifted from my shoulder. At least I don't have to worry 'bout cash all the time. But the problem was far from over.

Thanks to the idiotic staff in KLMU that mistakenly read my mother's payslip my loan is almost 10k short from everyone else. Fuck! Can they read a simple payslip? Gosh, now I have to pay for the stupid mistake. Who the hell gonna support me if I don't get enough loans like everybody else? I dunno guys, this is too much for me to handle. Now PTPTN thought my mom earn almost RM4k a month so they cut out my loans because supposedly I was born with silver spoon in my mouth. KLMU staff simply said to me that the contract is already out and I have to take the amount that they offered. Why the hell should I do that? It's not my mistake, why should I pay for it?

My mom only works in factory, she's not even a supervisor. How can she earn 4k a month? Ridiculous. If your suggestion is for me to work part-time, I tried that before. But I only lasted a week because the schedule was so hectic I can barely have time to sleep. I got only 3 month a semester, that's the reason why I can't work. Either I work or study, not both. I wanna have great results and great life. I know I deserve it. But this shit hole is deeper than anything I've been into.

Perhaps Allah have better plans for me, which is to start work. That's only I have in mind now. Perhaps art student is never been a path I should take. So now all I can do is try to correct the mistakes.

If not then you know where to find me...

If today was your last day...

I don't like hospital. Going there means that you're sick or visiting somebody who is sick. Let's face it y'all, none of us like hospital. It's the place of sadness. This is where people finally meet their Creator. Do you know when you going to meet yours?

I went to hospitals a few times before, and it crushed my heart when I saw family members crying over their loved ones. I felt like this is hell, where sadness and misery comes hand-in-hand. Well, yesterday it was super scary. Hospital is where I gotta be. I have to. Hospital or die...

I got this fever on Friday and it's still lingers on me. It never really go away. I'm not optimistic, and with this stupid voice keep reminding me I probably die of H1N1. Then I think what if today is my last day...have I live my life to the fullest? Far from it...far...

Time passes by with us failed to make the best of it. We always want to be on the other side, where suffering has ended. I can't imagine myself the next week, will I still be alive? Will I able to see my family again? My friends? Too much...

When I only diagnosed with just regular fever, it was a relief. I'm not going yet, but I never know when I really going. Don't get carried away with this world. It's only temporary. Death is for sure, never ever doubt it.

Have you prepared yourself for it?

I choose to lie...you do too...

No doubt that the iPhone (or Jesus phone mentioned in tech mags) is the most popular phone even though it's still super wallet burner but most of us still salivating when looking at it. When I think back the original iPhone cannot:

a) Send MMS
b) Make video call
c) Share files via Bluetooth
d) Bluetooth streaming
e) Cut and paste function
f) Record video

People paid for RM$$$$ (price varies) for a phone that can't do all those basic things? What a loser...but wait. It sold faster than goreng pisang when it when on sale a few years back and it still do. One small thing that stuck in my head, do we really use all those miss-functions when we use the iPhone? I don't think so...

Let's take one function, say, video call. When 3G launched people go crazy over it, like heaven finally opened its doors to tech goers. But if we look back, almost all of us never made video calls, true? I have a Sony Ericsson K530i and only made one video call and I only received a video call from my bro a few days ago. FYI, video calls never took off because when we video call, it's hard to lie. Don't start now folks, I know most of you lied on phone calls. I did, a few times. Hands clean...

Here's a situation:

A husband wants to watch football match with his mates but he already promised his wife he will be home early for dinner. If he use video call, how da hell he gonna lie to his wife? With old-school phone call, he can lie and live a happy life.

The end.

Apple is one smart bastard. The company managed to see what people really use and put it inside the iPhone. But most of us still overlooked this as we say "more is better". Sure lots of phone today have WiFi, 3G, multi-megapixel camera, giga-almost-tera bytes of space but do we really use that? When the hell you gonna surf the web via your tiny phone screen? A netbook is of course a more secure bet. 8 megapixel camera? The pictures still blurry and compact digicams gonna win hands-down. Spaces? What's my portable hard-disk for? Or my 16GB SD cards?

Astronomical price is still the only bummer. So, iPhone or Nokia E63?

The wallet will call a winnner....

Wah, bukan main ko ek...

Memandangkan si Satish dengan senang hati MC hari ni kami yang dah termanggu-manggu tunggu mamat tu terpaksa balik dengan hati yang tak berapa nak best. Aku memang dah plan dalam pale otak aku ni yang aku nak serang Low Yat untuk beli earphone baru. Earphone Creative yang aku beli 2 tahun lepas dah expired, jadi kena la beli baru. Macam-macam kena beli baru...haih...

Masa turun tangga KLMU tuh si Irwansyah (dier budak Kelate, bukan Endon) cakap ngan aku dier pun nak pegi Low Yat ngan Qayyim. Aku pun on la sebab dah lama round sesorang. Best gak ade kawan. Aku pun janji nak jumpa kat sane....malangnya....

Time aku kat area Bukit Bintang ujan dah stat turun. Aku pun ape lagi, dengan pantas cari stesen minyak untuk selamatkan harta menda aku yang sensitif cecair (i.e netbook). Lepas tu ujan turun la dengan lebatnya...aku pun start berangan kalu la time ni aku kat umah...fuuhh...bantal, tilam yang empuk...yeah...tapi aku kat Esso time tu...hemmm...

Masa aku lepak kat Esso tu tetiba ada sorang unkle botak bawak Iswara tahap besi buruk parking depan moto aku. Aku ingat dier nak isi minyak, tapi takde pun. Lepak aje mamat botak tu dalam keta. Aku naik hairan nape lepak kat sini, sedangkan orang nak isi minyak susah. Dier dah block jalan kat Esso tuh, tapi wat bodo atau memang bodo. Kesian aku tengok bila orang datang nak isi minyak, susah bebenor.

Pastu akak cashier datang la suruh dier lepak jauh skit, sebab dah block jalan. Tapi menjawab ye mamat tu tuan-tuan. Last-last akak tu give up dan pegi jaga kaunter. Aku memang naik hairan, nape ko lepak dalam stesen minyak ni sedangkan keta ko kan ade bumbung? Nak cakap Iswara ade klua versi convertible takde la plak. Kalu takleh nak drive dalam ujan then lepak la tepi jalan ke. Ni tak, lepak dalam stesen minyak yang kecik tuh. Apa punya manusia la...pikir diri sendiri ja. Bengap...

Jadi pengajaran yang abang nak bagitau adik-adik hari ni ialah walaupun keputusan yang kita wat nampak kecik dan takda masalah akan timbul tapi kekadang keputusan kecik tu la yang effect orang lain. Dan ingatlah bukan ko sorang je dalam dunia ni, kita hidup bermasyarakat. Kalu nak ikut pale otak sendiri je gi dok dalam hutan. Area KL ni ko nak hutan kat Bukit Nenas tuh, area KL Tower. Tak cukup pokok kat situ ko panjat la KL Tower tuh.

Po po!! (dialek Tamil bermakna pegi pegi!!)

I'm bored...and never lovin' it...

Every Tuesday I always tell myself not to get outside. It's simply not worth my time. But every afternoon I have to drag myself out of my house. This is hands-down the hardest thing I have to do every week. What could be so hard to attend a class?

It's Mr Satish class. You get the idea. It's been almost 3 months since we entered this class and it is still the same Satish that I posted about before. He never really change. I just don't get it. Right now my will simply evaporated into thin air. No more interest in this class. Can you really call this a class? Barely...

I dunno what do I have to do to get my money's worth. Right now I'm in his class typing this blog entry. I'm simply lost interest on what happen in this class. I tried to push myself to "learn" whatever he's showing us but I can't push myself to do something useless. I'm not gonna simply follow what he's showing us because he never explain what is it for. The point of doing all those things that he teach us.

I'm leaving now...

Ah brape? Nak amik...

Lagi sekali post pasal duit. Bila dok KL ni baru la aku perasan sebenarnya orang Malaysia ni kaya-raya. Masa aku dok Penang jarang gila aku nampak keta mewah yang ada dalam majalah Autocar yang aku dok baca tetiap bulan. Aku naik pelik bila ada brand-brand yang mahal tahap gaban dijual kat Malaysia macam Maserati ngan Bentley.

Harga keta Bentley adala dalam sejuta ringgit satu, pastu campur cukai ngan insurans etc dah dekat RM2 million. Tak ke korang rasa manusia yang bole beli menda-menda camni memang tak merasa pening susah nak cari duit? Gambar kat atas ni adalah salah satu kereta mewah yang orang KL ramai dok pakai selain daripada keta faveret aku Porsche Cayenne iaitu Mercedez Benz CLS 55 AMG. Keta ni tak dijual secara rasmi kat Malaysia oleh Mercedez Benz Malaysia dan memang dah sah keta ni diimport dari luar. Harga keta ni aku agak-agak dalam rm1.5 juta atas jalan. Agak-agak cemana la tuan keta ni nak baya bulan-bulan ye? Berapa agaknya? Downpayment? Insurans lagik?

Bila la aku nak kaya? Dok berhutang ja keja...haih...

I don't understand...but what the heck...

First a fact: Golden Screen Cinemas Mid Valley Megamall housed 18 screens and have 2899 seats, which is the biggest multiplex in Asia. Ironically Malaysia is one of the smallest country in Asia...hmm weird doesn't it?

Well this evening I finally got a chance to watch a movie in the biggest multiplex in Asia. Having to work before in GSC, I found it interesting that every GSC is the same, except the environment. But when I was a staff in GSC, I found one thing that really bugs me, do people really understand the movie they watch? At that time I found out that people don't really give a damn 'bout the story. They just simply enjoy the effects and by words of mouth...I think their hard earned cash doesn't mean anything at all...

Before I came up with that conclusion, I did a little survey after movies are over. I would stand on the exit door and asked:

So sir, how was the movie?

The feedback was a bit lame. They simply don't care or just say OK and I didn't really get the excitement if the movie was great. And let me tell you this, Hollywood is running out of ideas. Example Terminator 4 is actually Terminator 2.5, and Fast & Furious 4 is also Fast & Furious 2.5. They sit right the middle of previous movies. But customers that I got never complained about the silly storyline. Most people keep on coming to watch the movie. That was really confusing...why people wanna see a movie that go backwards? Only Star Wars can do that...

But now I finally understand what they felt. Today I watched Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince and honestly I don't understand the movie since I'm not a Harry Potter fan plus the near-Bollywood runtime. But after the movie, I can't really hate it. I dunno why. My head keep telling me to hate it but my heart says no. Hmm...so people, we human are very complicated. We even like things that we don't understand.

Perhaps the world is going crazy after all...

We are all brothers...from Africa?

Yet again it's Monday and of course Mr Bala will come into our class and start his "so-called" class. Well this few weeks he keeps on repeating something that he already mentioned or did such as "where are you from?" and "why you must improve your English" etc. Honestly I'm getting bored because jokes are only works once, or maybe twice, but never more than that. I concluded that he's running out of ideas. But still, he surprised me. Here's what he's gotta say this week...

Mr. Bala always proud to come from Sri Lanka (his ancestors from there, the Tamil Tigers generation) and always mentioned that politics really sucks (tell me 'bout it) and we cannot simply pride our race to be better than others. That's the reason why we are so far from each other. But this is where he fall off the tangen. He said that all of us came from Africa, no matter what your skin colour etc. I dunno bout that and keep questioning the truth behind that claim...

All I know is my ancestors came from Pakistan (my father's side) and Indonesia (my mother's side). There are no Africa in the words. But still I think it's pretty true, since civilization and religion started from that region. But it's all in the distant past, so what should I care? I can't see the reason why...can you?

Then he keep reminding us that the greatest people alive or passed away are black. Nat King Cole, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jackson, Ray Charles...all great people that are very influential to the world today. I can see he's right, but white people do strive too right? I don't say he is wrong but he just try to make his point true. So for me, 50-50 then...

But one thing for sure Mr. Bala did recommend us one thing. If you see African tourists along the road or somewhere, go give them a hug, because we are family! I think that's a good idea. If I do it I will say "Yo my man, my brother from another mother!!"

I'm not sure I'll end up alive or end up on the hospital bed...

Blaja rajin-rajin! It's an order!!

Yesterday after Friday prayer yours truly went to a makcik shop to buy some sugar...

Makcik, gula katne?

That makcik pun answerlah...

Ade kat tepi tu, gi amik...

Yours truly just read something on the newspaper saying that sugar in some territories are hard to find, so he decided to make some conversation with that makcik...

Makcik sekarang ni gula dah susah nak dapat ek, yela dah nak puasa ni pastu raya pulak...

That makcik like biasa answer...

Itula makcik selalu cakap, blaja rajin-rajin. Makcik selalu bising kat anak makcik blaja rajin-rajin sebab nanti bole pegang ekonomi. Bukan macam sekarang ni, asyik mengekor je ape yang jadi. Kamu pun student kan? Nanti dah abis blaja pegang ekonomi, takde susah macam sekarang ni...

Yours truly went home with a head full with thoughts.

Betul jugak cakap makcik tu...don't you think so?