Aiya, you Malay aa?

Cube kau tengok gamba aku kat sebelah kanan blog ni. Tengok bebetol. Sape yang rabun jauh mahupun dekat, ko pegi amik spek ko pastu pakai. Tengok gamba aku.

Aku ni Melayu ke Cina?

Ramai giler mengaku aku ni Cina. Adoi, terus-terang aku cakap situasi ni aku dah hadapi sepanjang hidup aku. Kekadang tu memang rasa best sebab orang selalu salah anggap. Tengok je muka aku, terus cakap Cina. Pastu aku kene la cakap:

Sorry, I'm Malay...

Huahuahua...terpinga-pinga auntie yang cakap Hokkien ngan aku. Pastu bole pulak dier jeling pastu komen yang aku selalu sangat denga

Waa, you look like Chinese ah. You sure ah?

Hoho...dan selalu jugak ade orang konfius. Soklan ini selalu ditanya dimana jua aku berada, seperti di stesen minyak dan di kedai makan. Dan sekarang ni aku selalu disalahanggap sebagai Cina oleh rakan-rakan sekerja aku. Bole kata 90% positif aku Cina. Datang dekat aku wajib cakap Cina dulu sebelum diorang segan bila tau aku Melayu. Tempat keja aku bole kata 80% Cina, jadi memang muka camni menolong aku bercampur ngan diorang ni. Tapi sayangnya aku tak bole cakap Cina.

OK, sekarang ni memang aku bersyukur ada muka camni. Walaupun aku ni dah agak letih explain aku Melayu, aku tetap bersyukur. Ade sorang kawan aku tanye ko ni positif ke Melayu, mungkin parents aku tertukar kat hospital ke. Hahaha, memang aku gelak besar time tu. Tapi kalu difikirkan, itu mungkin betul. Parents aku memang muka Melayu. Jadi nape aku camni? Terus-terang aku tak mau pikir kemungkinan tu. Susah oo kalu betol. Tidakkk!!!

I dun need a crystal ball...I already knew

When Miss B cancelled her The Beyoncé Experience Live! in KL 2007 I wasn't surprised at all. Far from it. Too much restrictions from the government was the cause, plus the parochial-minded people rejected the idea about Beyoncé having a show here. I'm ashamed as a Malaysian. I really do. In 2007 the cancellation caused international headlines, from Billboard to CNN. And when Beyoncé decided to postpone the concert for I Am... Tour in KL it wasn't a shocker. I was thinking she gonna cancel the concert altogether but let's stick to "postponed" for now. I read the news on billboard.com and started laughing all by myself. Not because I find it funny for Beyoncé not to have a concert here but honestly who are we kidding here? We all know this one's coming right? Being optimistic is good, but if you're talking about concert you better forget about it. It saves time.

If an international (or American, it's easier that way) wants to do a show here, it's like try to have peace conference between Gaza and Tel Aviv. Almost impossible. Even Avril Lavigne was in hot water when she had a show here. Sexy? Avril? That's what those idiots say about Avril. Avril is far from sexy lah. Why the hell our people being so parochial and narrow minded?

All this headlines already made Malaysia is one of the most skipped-over country in the world. I just saw Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown World Tour dates and yes, no Malaysia. They will perform in Thailand and Singapore but not here. Why? Ask Linkin Park. Their 2004 concert here was a success but had a lot of curfew. Chester was not allowed to spit during performance and all members weren't allowed to wear shorts. Insane yet bizarre.

Are we moving forward? No. We are right where we started. Square one. We may have the tallest twin tower in the world and among the nicest beaches ever seen but our mind still stuck in the 50's. It's ironic when Internet and TV shows a lot of bare skin and crazy behaviour but still acceptable. What's the difference between those and live concert? I can't see any.

If they really wanted to be conservative then they can migrate to China, where the government control almost everything. Only 20 international movies are allowed there a year. That's how conservative they are. I don't have anything to say for those idiots. Barbarians don't think, they just know how to throw tantrums and yes, act stupidly.

All the single ladies, put your "MIDDLE FINGER UP!!!" Oh Oh Oh...

Oh lelaki kenapa?

I've been out of dating game for over a year and a half now. Does it bother me? Sometimes. My other half is yet to be found and perhaps for some people it's such a must to be the perfect other-half. Yes, relationship is vital in life but it's also the most painful experience you'll ever tasted.

One thing that really makes me crazy is why men are so easy of infidelity?

I, Mohd Izuan the forever owner of this blog is a male. I've been in love several times and it's always struck me when most of my guyfrens who are attached still find it amusing checking other girls. I swear I never did that and never will. I never asked them why in such way they're behaving. It's just plain weird. Perhaps their other half are not good enough so that checking other girls completely a must? Explain this bullshit to me. When my female friends complain to me about their boyfriends infidelity, I can't really explain why. Why men behaving this way? Is it so hard to stay loyal? I bet dogs can be ten times loyal rather than them.

I've read a lot of psychology books and didn't really found the answer. Even watching Oprah doesn't help. But I did found some clues that you girls can take:

a) Guys are visual. So a pretty scenery is damn important to us.
b) We don't like rhymes or riddles. Want something, tell it STRAIGHT to our face.
c) Don't be our mama. So stop scolding or controlling like a mother.
d) Appreciation. A simple "thank you" is enough if we did anything nice for you girls.
e) More communication. Less talking means more likely the relationship gonna fall apart.
f) Let down your guard. If you're a "ego-ish" type (means no touchy-feely) you should change it immediately. Guys can do that, but not girls. Touchy-feely is a must.

So there you have it. Should these tips help you in your relationship? I hope so. I'm not attched now so can't really experimenting. So you out there if you're attached try it on. If it works, glad I could help. If not, get it over with and move on.

Lots of fish in the sea you know...hint hint...hahaha...chow

Oh sebelum lupe...oh Tuah3, blog tuan hamba telah di-block jadi hamba tidak boleh membacanya lagi...harap dibenarkan...babai...

Boleh ni...boleh...blah...

Aku tak suka buang masa. Kalau ikutkan buang masa tu macam buang emas permata dll tapi kita langsung tak amik port. Termasuk la tuan empunya badan, kekadang. Biasala, tak sedar, kan? Woh sejak berenti jadi student ni dah macam-macam benda aku buat. Basuh kain, basuh pinggan, angkat baju, mop lantai, sidai tilam adik aku (keja kencing atas tilam le mamat tu), buang sampah, kemas umah, vakum karpet antik mak aku, pegi kedai beli santan, sapu laman (kalu line clear) dan sebagainya (satgi abis blog ni aku senaraikan satu-satu). Jawatan aku dah jadi suri rumah dah ni (aku prefer housewife, vogue skit, hohoh). Kalu la jawatan ni ada EPF, SOCSO...

Selain dari bagi amma aku senyum hari-hari bagaikan beliau mempunyai anak dara yang rajin tahap Gaban, aku ada lagi masa buat menda lain. Bagi korang yang bagi alasan bizzy selalu jangan nak menipu ye. Baru je mintak maap raya itu hari. Aku cuba mengabihkan buku-buku yang telah aku beli macam esok nak kiamat. Aku selalu beli buku, tapi selalu jugak tak abis baca. Bizzy la konon. Aparaa...hang mana BZ Izuan ooi...alasan ja dok bagi...
Jadi sekarang ni aku akan menghabiskan buku yang bersepah dalam bilik aku ni. Rujuk gamba untuk membuktikan betapa tamaknya aku ni. Ni senarai buku yang aku baca sekarang ni:

a) Twilight Saga: New Moon (baca lagi sekali, muvi nak klua bulan depan)
b) Pele: The Autobiography
c) Pop Babylon
d) La Tahzan: Jangan Bersedih
e) A New Earth (baca one more time)
f) Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
g) Teach Yourself: Spanish
h) The Life With My Sister Madonna
i) Why We Want You To Be Rich
j) Celine Dion: For Keeps

Pergh banyak giler. Mampu ke aku abiskan ni...boleh ni...boleh...blah...

Time goes by...so fast??!

Hai kengkawan...

Dah bulan sepuluh (10 sahaja) ye. Erm ape agaknye yang korang sume dah perolehi tahun ni? Aku takde banyak sangat dapat, cuma ilang banyak tu ada la...hilang sabar, hilang peluang, skit je lagi nak hilang pedoman dan lain-lain. Korang jangan la ingat aku ni nak hilang akal pulak, walaupun ada la skit-skit ke arah tu...haha...

Sekarang ni sebenarnya aku pun takde apa nak tulih pasal diri aku ni. Masih sama. Aku sekarang ni abihkan masa ngan denga album bebaru dan wat review. Aku ni memang dari dulu gila musik (seperti yang sesetengah korang tau sangat) dan aku rasa mungkin aku bole gune kemahiran aku ni jadikan kerjaya. Nak cakap aku ni terer sangat takdela, cuma mungkin satu hari nanti ade peluang jadi writer kat magazine memane ke, mana nak tau.

Sementara tu jugak aku try la apply keja kan. Interview tu adelah jugak aku pegi, tapi setakat ni takde lagi rezeki aku. Qasieh, tenkiu la sebab nak tolong aku. Tapi masalah jauh la keja tu. Sori bebeh. Aku just nak updatekan korang pasal diri aku je, since berhari dah aku diam tak update blog ni. So frens, tenkiu sebab jenguk blog ni. Aku mesti update kalu aku ade menda nak cakap. Haha, setakat ni takdela banyak sangat nak aku cakapkan. Ni je kot. Jangan risau pasal aku, aku OK dan sihat.

Masa Raya je aku sakit. Timing memang tak bole blah...