I never know how it feels like...

I have lost my stuff in the past. Keys, money, you name it. In fact my rims been stolen 2 weeks ago, and it doesn't feel good. The first thing that pop-up in my head was "Why me?". It was hard to believe because hours before it was there. Then boom! it's gone. I am sucker in letting things go. Never my best forte. First when losing stuff, I will mad at myself. Then I'll mad at the person who took it away. Lastly I try to move on with those two things still clinging in my head. Hard it is.

When I heard that one of my childhood friends lost her mother recently, I was speechless. I can't really imagine what will happen to me if that occurred to myself. Look everyone, we can only have one mum (biological mum that is) in a lifetime. And still they can be gone the next day.

I was mad at my mum when I was young. I am a kid and never really listen to what they would say. I was rebellious. When I want certain things and she said no, I will throw tantrums. Once I even think about running away from home because I think when they say no to me meaning that they never really love me. I think they would say yes if they love me, everytime. But when I am old enough to understand, I feel sorry for my parents. My attitude wasn't really helping. I truly understand when I looked at my birth certificate says that my father worked as a fisherman. How much a fisherman make these days? Not much. So when I look at my younger brothers, I say "how lucky they are" because they didn't experience life like I did. They can have whatever they want without even trying. My mum just spent nearly 2k to get my brother a laptop. When I was in college, I have to use a 5 year old desktop. How unfair.

But now my parents especially my mum is definitely precious. I am living in KL now and even though they are miles away, I call them everyday. I call them just to remind them they still have a son who lives far away and still they are locked deep in his heart.

To Fauziah a.k.a Ojah, my cousin and also my childhood friend, I feel sorry for your lost. Just remember she has gone to a better place and live must go on. Never ever feel alone because your family and friends are with you along the way. Be strong. She is looking at you from above, smiling that her daughter is able to continue this life without her.

I never know how hard is it for you to swallow it but we all will experience the same thing....losing our love one...